Dear experienced person:
Recently, I was contacted by a recruiter that you tasked with hiring programmers for your firm. I'm sad to report, your recruiter is an idiot. No, not a dunce or ignoramus, but an idiot. If you are seeing this page, it is because I sent you a message through a code sample for your review while using your recruiter as a dumb proxy. This was a last resort. Likely, you found this link after decoding supposed base64 encoded binary data. I'm sorry about that, but I just couldn't help it. Please contact me directly to discuss the opportunity at length, as well as my experience.
I sincerely apologize for vulgarities, however you weren't the one that talked to your recruiter over the phone and via e-mail. At this point, I just thought you should know that systematically removing my own fingernails might have been a more productive and pleasurable experience.
My best regards,
Note: This originally contained my contact information, as well as a little more context which I've since removed to protect the innocent. I resurrected it because I found more gold in my inbox today.